A Toaster's No Slot Machine

from the desk of Ron Sukenick

You've heard me talk about my toaster. I use toasters as a metaphor for business systems that savvy networkers put into place. I explain how, once I've set my toaster dial to "Dark" or "Medium", inserted my bagel or my slice of bread and pushed down the lever, I can let the toaster do its job. Meanwhile, I can go get my juice out of the refrigerator or put the finishing touches on my blog. I don't need to watch the toaster, or keep track of it, or "follow up" with it. The toaster will do what toasters do, and, soon enough, I'll hear the little "ping" that tells me my toast is ready.

"Sure, sure, Ron ", some complain. "You make it sound so simple. How come my phone's not ringing off the hook with referrals? How come I'm not getting dozens of good leads out of every networking meeting I attend? How come I try so hard but don't see immediate results?" Remarks like these are a clue. I've been talking about toasters, but the problem is, these people have toasters confused with slot machines.

See, when you're in the mood for a little bag of Cheez-its or some pretzels, you walk over to the vending machine, put your coins in the slot, and press the B-19 or the A-24 button. You certainly have every right to expect that little bag of Cheez-its or pretzels to come falling down to the opening. It's a simple tit-for-tat proposition. So my theory is, that's why some business people imagine that every time they show up for a networking meeting, they'll be rewarded with, at minimum, a couple of leads. And every time they do a favor for someone, they expect to receive, in short order, a favor in return. (After all, "What goes around comes around." - doesn't it?).

But slot machines aren't good metaphors for effective networking systems, because business is about people, and people don't do well with tit-for-tat propositions. When we use the Ultimate Discovery System to understand the four basic personality styles, when we practice focused, productive listening, when we use the Magic of Six to start relationships (see my earlier blog "Interactions That Start Relationship"), we're setting up our toaster. We've shopped for just the right kind of bread. We've made a decision about whether our toast should be well done or just brown around the edges. We've set out a plate and utensils, and perhaps the cream cheese, peanut butter, or margarine. We've put up the coffee. In other words, for each piece of ready-to-eat toast that pops out of our toaster, we've devoted a lot of preparation and thought.

Remember those old song lyrics, "I beg your pardon - I Never Promised You A Rose Garden"? What I'm attempting to convey to people who want to take their networking to the next level is this: I never promised you a slot machine! Sharpen up your seeing. Deepen your understanding. Shape up your productive listening. Give the right referrals in the right way. Help everywhere you can. Learn all you can from everyone you can.

Once you've done those things, you can go get your juice from the refrigerator or finish up your blog, because your toaster's gonna do what a toaster's gotta do - as sure as my name's Ron Sukenick!