Gift Returns And Returns On Relationships

from the desk of Ron Sukenick


You may have already handled these matters, but at my house we're only now getting around to deciding which gifts to keep and which to exchange, plus composing all the thank you notes. Thank goodness I noticed Miss Manners' syndicated column headline "New Year's Not Too Late For Overdue Thank-You's!"

I've often mentioned in my blog how "easy" it is nowadays to thank a new networking friend for taking time to meet with you. With all the communication technology we have at our fingertips, the challenge is presenting your thanks in personalized way, in order to create interaction leading to a lasting relationship. To accomplish that, our message should show that we recall - and value - things about the other person that makes connecting with them special for us.

OK, with thank-you's done, I can focus on returning gifts that don't fit my size or my taste (just as I'm positive others are doing with presents received from me). The book "Do Your Giving While You Are Living" tells how we can avoid all this returning of gifts. Author Robin Spitzman advises us to pick up clues throughout the year in order to "create perfect gifts that demonstrate you really understand who that person is".

As I read further into the book, I found a couple of lines that mirror something I wrote in an earlier blog about going beyond traditional remarks in followup emails, and specifically mentioning pieces of information or news items related to your new business friend's work or personal life. In that same vein, Spitzman writes, "When you're having a phone conversation with someone who matters to you, pick up ideas about what that person cares about. As soon as you hang up, write them down."

Since gift givers' collecting clues year-round can help create perfect holiday-time gifts that fit recipients' needs, I imagine that if we were to put Spitzman's advice into practice. fewer gifts would need to be returned or exchanged. Likewise, I'm thinking, purposeful listening in networking encounters and in all our followup contacts may result in creating more "fitting" and more mutually rewarding business connections in any season of the year!