Are you hearing what I just said?

Take 30, divide by half, add ten, the answer is? Let me ask you one more time. Take 30 divide by half add ten the answer is? Now for those of you who answered twenty-five that’s the correct answer but to a different question. You see if I said take 30 and divide by two that would be fifteen and then if you added ten, the answer would be twenty-five. But if you remember correctly, I suggested that you take 30 and that you divide by half. Half goes into 30, 60 times and when you add 10, the answer is 70.

Our intention is not to present a tricky question; our intention is to make a point.
You see, many of us respond quickly to the questions that we think are being asked. We don’t hear what is said. By doing so, we miss the real question, and the opportunity to respond with understanding and knowledge.

When we find ourselves not listening to others it’s often a product of being bored, tired, hurried, or a dozen of other reasons that we come up with. Who cares what the reason is? The fact is, we assume we hear. In any event, we are not purposeful in our listening efforts. To become a more purposeful listener, we first commit to listening, assuring that we indeed did hear the words that the person expressed. We then ask questions and put into our own words to clarify that we understand what the other person is saying. The light bulb pretty quickly goes on when we find that we have truly heard and truly do understand another. This kind of listening helps reveal deeper feelings and needs.

Purposeful Communication and Resistance to Changing The Communication Process

We are all resistant at times to change! When you feel this resistance rise up in you, pause and look behind the resistance. Are you giving up the comfortableness of a proven communication success and going into unknown territory? Are you moving from your current capability of talking about the weather, what you do for a living, about the project at hand, et cetera? There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, sharing common experiences early in an interaction will help everyone feel comfortable. Taking the next step may feel vulnerable and awkward. One way to practice this is to talk about what you are feeling, what you are aware of in the moment. Simply notice and remember with practice, deepening the person-to-person connection will become natural.

When Does Failure to Listen Occur?

Failure to listen occurs whenever the receiver “tunes out” the sender of the message before receiving the entire message. One instance is when you disagree with some part of what is being said; you listen to the point of disagreement, and begin formulating your response in your head rather than continuing to listen.

This is the old habit of listening to only what you want to hear and failing to listen to the rest of the message. As a result, the message is misunderstood and not heard.

When we find ourselves not listening to others it’s often a product of being bored, tired, hurried, or a dozen of other reasons that we come up with. Who cares what the reason is? The fact is, we assume we hear. In any event, we are not purposeful in our listening efforts. To become a more purposeful listener, we first commit to listening, assuring that we indeed did hear the words that the person expressed. We then ask questions and put into our own words to clarify that we understand what the other person is saying. The light bulb pretty quickly goes on when we find that we have truly heard and truly do understand another. This kind of listening helps reveal deeper feelings and needs.

“Great Listeners have Great Connection”

As many of you know, listening is one of the most sought after marketing tools of all time.

In fact, why is it so hard to find a good listener?

Here’s another question - When was the last time anyone said to you - Thanks for taking the time to listen?

Has it been awhile?

So without further ado, allow me to share a few of the many great listening quotes that are out there.

If you have a favorite listening quote, please don’t to hesitate to send it to me.

I can always get better at this thing called – listening.

Enjoy.


The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. — Ralph Nichols


Effective listeners remember that "words have no meaning - people have meaning." The assignment of meaning to a term is an internal process; meaning comes from inside us. And although our experiences, knowledge and attitudes differ, we often misinterpret each other’s messages while under the illusion that a common understanding has been achieved. — Larry Barker


Our first responsibility as effective listeners is to understand ourselves as communicators. Just as the sources of the communication message shout are trained in self-intrapersonal communication, so, too, should listeners know themselves? — Carolyn Coakley

Every person in this life has something to teach me -- and as soon as I accept that, I open myself to truly listening. — Catherine Doucette

We listen in order to learn and retain information. If we are speaking, we are not listening or learning anything to add to our sum of knowledge. This is why the first step to effective listening is to stop talking! — Ken Fracaro

Listening effectively to others can be the most fundamental and powerful communication tool of all. When someone is willing to stop talking or thinking and begin truly listening to others, all of their interactions become easier, and communication problems are all but eliminated. — Ken Johnson

The contrast between hearing and really listening can be as different as night and day. And in a business environment, not listening effectively to customers, employees, and peers can mean the difference between success and failure. — Ken Johnson
Listening well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well. — John Marshall
When making personal decisions, listen to what your head says; then listen to what your heart says. If they differ, follow your heart! Whenever you listen to your heart, you listen to that part of you that is most interested in your well-being. — Anonymous


This is a time to give the gift of listening. There are an unknowable but very large number of folks who could really be helped with our listening to them. I know your hearts are all very warm and giving. Please, take time to listen to those around you.
- Richard D. Halley



My only advice is to stay aware, listen carefully and yell for help if you need it. — Judy Blume

I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying. — Charles C. Finn


History repeats itself because no one listens the first time. — Anonymous

A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener. — Anonymous

The older I grow the more I listen to people who don’t talk much. — Germain G. GlienThe right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. — Humphrey Hubert

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening. — Franklin P. Jones

Just because I didn’t do what you told me, doesn’t mean I wasn’t listening to you! — Hank Ketcham

The opposite of talking is not listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. — Fran Lebowitz
Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens and then everybody disagrees. — Will Rogers

Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening. — Dorothy Sarnoff

A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat. — Katharine Whitehorn
It seems that we shall eventually come to believe that the responsibility for effective oral communication must be equally shared by speakers and listeners. When this transpires, we shall have taken a long stride toward greater economy in learning, accelerated personal growth, and significantly deepened human understanding. — Ralph Nichols

Talk less--you will automatically learn more, hear more, see more--and make fewer blunders. — Mark McCormack


You talk, you repeat what you already know; when you listen, and you often learn something. — Jared Sparks