Reciprocity

Webster defines reciprocity as a corresponding and complementary exchange: the quality or state of being reciprocal. Through mutual dependence, action or influence, a mutual exchange of privileges takes place. This definition fits well with the underlying intention that is inherent to a relationship focus. Most long-standing relationships are grounded in some form of reciprocity in the giving and receiving of rewards. Cunningham and Antill (1981) observe, “It is indisputable that most human relationships are based on considerations of equity and exchange.” Sharing this view of reciprocity as a joint responsibility enhances and deepens the relationship and the connection.

Rewardingness

Webster defines rewarding as a sense of reward or worthwhile return. We are building on this definition by defining rewardingness as an ongoing exchange and flow based on mutual benefit for all. This exchange may be in providing services or products, or sharing learning, contacts, or resources.

There exists a fundamental psychological principle that people are more likely to repeat behaviors that have rewarding consequences for them than those that do not. Relationships are likely to deepen if partners can increase the range and depth of the mutual rewards they receive from one another, and if they are able to sustain a high level of mutual trust and benefits.

The relationship provides joyful experiences. This is the reward itself!
Phil Black, a student, writer, and teacher of Gestalt Psychotherapy poses the rhetorical question “…when all goals are close to equal, what determines who we remain in relationship with whether it is business or pleasure? It is the relationship itself that determines this decision—the ease and the pleasure derived. In the end, there must be joy: a laugh, a smile, or we will not find satisfaction, and we will not stay with or return to.”

Capturing his remark and adding, yes, it is the reward of the relationship that keeps us involved.

Commitment Within a Relationship Mindset

For many people, the biggest reward from commitment to the relationship process is that it leads to closer, warmer, and deepened relationships with others.

When you take a pro-active approach to developing relationship with others, others are eager to enter into business and social relationships with you. Now it doesn’t mean that everybody will choose to interact with you. A relationship mindset simply increases the possibility that someone will want to interact with you!

Commitment is the foundation of this strategy. A relationship mindset begins with commitment and ends with commitment. Not only will you build strong relationships in your professional life with this commitment, but within your personal life as well. This strategy and the commitment that you develop, supports the passion behind the relationship process.

The difference between a successful relationship mindset and an unsuccessful relationship mindset is attitude.

ONE OF MY FAVORITE QUOTES

The greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen by them,
heard by them, to be understood and touched by them. The greatest gift I can give
is to see, hear, understand and to touch another person. When this is done I feel contact has been made.
Virginia Satir